expectations.

going back to a social event I went to this week...

I don't know why I even go to stuff like that. 

Maybe if I had zero expectations, I would never be disappointed.

I always think it's going to be so fun, but then it never is.

I was doing so well with this whole having realistic to no expectations thing; I don't know what my deal is. haha whatever. 

• there is a guy in one of my classes who looks like a young version of Dermot Mulroney. Awesome. Look him up, he's pretty good looking for an older guy.  

• I need a job. It is stressing me out. I love working with the kiddos, but I need some more consistency. It makes me sad because I honestly feel like I am searching so hard and applying like crazy and nothing is becoming of it. What is up with that? My bank account sure doesn't like it. Next week, I am starting to finish my 23 hrs of clinical observations I have left. I can get that done while I'm still subbing, so that will be good, but what about after? 

one last thing...

I have this friend whom I've known since the end of my first semester of college, so pretty long (2008-now) and he's in my dept and we have a class together this semester. I was pretty excited when he told me he was going to be in it, but now, he will not talk to me! I don't know when/why/how it got weird, but I want it to go back to normal, really badly. We used to be friends and have normal conversation...I want those times back! Is that too much to ask?

xoxo,

ash 

ps randoms. There is someone who reads my blog at the same time every day. That's kind of weird. So, blog reader, I reallyyyy hope that you are someone that I know and not some creeper freak. I also want to know how you know about my blog, because not many people do.

On the bus to school today, some guy started telling me how he just got out of jail and how he's turning his life around and is in this really good rehab program, etc. and some other things that I would consider to be really personal. How can some people start spilling their guts to random strangers? So weird! 

I want Orange Julius. like someone would be my favorite person ever if they gave one to me. Strawberry's my favorite flavor.