Good read

http://wellfesto.com/2013/11/19/10-things-i-want-my-daughter-to-know-about-working-out/

I appreciate some of the points this article brought up. Thought I'd share :)

pivotal moment.

Tonight, I reached an important conclusion that I feel should be shared.

A little background first--
the past few months have been incredibly better in my life than spring and the beginning of summer were. (Crazy how fast a year goes by!) I felt lost. confused. like I didn't have a purpose. didn't know what was going to be my next move. then I went to Michigan for LSA 2013, which, was a life saver for me, truly. Sounds cheesy, but I needed that time to get away, clear my head, spend time in a new place and leave some of the life commotion I had felt before at the airline gate, and take time to learn and grow with my passion--build upon that and strengthen and expand my knowledge of all things language. That is exactly what I did and it was wonderful. I am so happy that I made that opportunity work for myself. I internalized something very important while in Michigan--to live and be happy in the now, something I'd known my whole life but then I felt like I wrapped my head completely around the idea and was ready to put the practice in motion.

I came home, the rest of the summer was a blur and I was less than ecstatic to be going back to school. but, as usual, time passed and school came and with the help of my dear family and wonderful close friends, I was back on the school wagon, moving right along. Schoolwork and learning was more enjoyable than spring semester, which I am beyond grateful for! I finally found my groove. I have worked my butt off this semester and am doing extremely well, with the exception of one class where I cannot get the grade to where I want it to be no matter what I do or try--I've done everything in my power, and still nothing! It's super, super frustrating, but I will just take it as it comes.

Into the fall came a promotion for me at my job that I happen to love. It is seriously amazing and I love what I get to do each and every day, trying to make a difference for those high school kids and have fun too. It is pushing me toward an M.Ed. more and more--as long as I can get my PhD in Child Lang. Acquisition ;) Just another thing added to my incredible journey.

Things felt like they were starting to go right, such a relief. Then I started wondering when I would start going on more dates, or why I *wasn't* going on more dates, which is dumb, I now know. There was potential to...not wallow...but be bummed about it at times, especially when feeling like a ton of my friends are getting married and having kids. I even feel like it is getting harder to hang out with some friends when they say, "If you can find a date, you can come!" Like a dude is an accessory, a necessary one! Weird, weird. In the culture I'm surrounded by, sometimes people make marriage into such a huge deal that it can feeling crushing or very limiting at times to single people. It is all about how you take it, but sometimes you feel like the vibe around you is telling you you're not quite good enough until you've got that significant other at your side and you're well on your way to engagement and marriage. I think these people forget what it's like to be single and that it is not a big deal if you haven't hit that life stage yet--it's not life and death. Important, yes. but are you any less of a person if you don't have that? No. It is a process--you start hearing those corny sentiments like "Your time will come!", "When the time is right!"--I strongly dislike these phrases and similar ones. People are well-meaning, but after a while, it makes you want to bash your head into a wall a few times, ha! I was tired of this limitation that I thought people were putting on me, then after some thought, it was me *letting* them put these supposed limitations on myself, so I stopped worrying about it and life in the romance world and bombardments from others got a whole lot easier to handle.

Today is when I reached my pivotal moment. I was standing in a cemetery with my family, decorating some loved ones' graves for Christmas, a tradition we do every year--not even related to the thoughts that came to mind. I smiled. and I realized that I am completely happy. Completely and utterly happy. I don't know if there are adequate words to explain my experience. My life is great. I needed to learn to focus on what I do have--amazing family, wonderful close friends, fantastic job, the mind-blowing opportunity to gain education and expand that education and many, many other blessings. I can honestly say that I have quit worrying about what I don't have (and not just guys, other things too). My time has been better spent doing things to benefit myself, others and society than all the time I've spent in the past worrying about the don't haves combined. I have reached a higher level with this mindset and I am grateful for that. I have become more dependent on myself, which is an incredibly empowering feeling!! It is so much more fun to jump in to what you have been given, and created for yourself, in life, rather than hanging back waiting for what you think you want. Who knows? You may get to a certain point where you get whatever it is you thought you wanted and be disappointed--the life you're building as an active participant will most likely be better. I want to encourage a genuine stop to worrying; I wish to spread that to everyone. Focus on what you can do now to make your life amazing; I know you will see a difference.

Happy Thanksgiving Week
xoxo,
Ashlie

Do this with me!

There is so much I want to talk about these days, but I don't want to dump it out in one post, so when I found this clever "Blogtember" post here, I thought some of the prompts would be perfect for me to write what I want to write about in an organized way. There are some that are awesome and some that I don't plan on doing. Write as you see fit! Send me links to your blogs at ash_princess13@hotmail.com or in a comment so I can follow along with you as well! 

Here are the rules:

1. There really aren't any rules. If you miss a day, you can make it up or skip it. The blog police will not come knocking.

2. I will be including a linkup option at the bottom of my post each day, so you are welcome to leave your links here for others to peruse, as well. 

3. You can still post other things every day, too. I plan to do normal outfit posts, life posts, around-Austin posts, and sponsor posts just like usual.

4. I'd seriously love you if you also include the "Blogtember" button (below) either on your sidebar or at the end of your posts, but again, the blog police will not come knocking. My main goal here is to get us all back to the basics of blogging, not to gain a million new readers (though I wouldn't mind that). 

5. Here are the topics. You can be as creative and awesome or as boring and bland as you like with these. Take 'em and run with it. Use creative post titles. Interpret each "prompt" however you like. There's no wrong way to do it. Have fun.

Tuesday, Sept. 3: Describe where or what you come from. The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are.

Wednesday, September 4: If you could take three months off from your current life and do anything in the world, what would you do? (bonus points for fun photos from Pinterest, but don't forget to cite the source!)

Thursday, September 5: Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered. 

Friday, September 6: A story about a time you were very afraid.

Monday, September 9: Take this short personality test and respond to your results. (at the end, find the detailed profile of your personality account - click "click to view" under "You" and "self awareness and personal growth." You can even google your type and find more info on it!)

Tuesday, September 10: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

Wednesday, September 11: Share links to your favorite online shops, preferably with a few photos of your favorite items in each shop.

Thursday, September 12: Discuss ways that blogging or social media has changed you.

Friday, September 13: A self portrait

Monday, September 16: Write a public love letter to someone in your life. (It doesn't necessarily need to be romantic.)

Tuesday, September 17: A memory you would love to relive.

Wednesday, September 18: Only photos

Thursday, September 19: Creative writing day: write a (very short) fictional story that starts with this sentence: "To say I was dreading the dinner party would be the understatement of the century."

The story does not necessarily need to have a conclusion - you can leave your readers wishing for more!

Friday, September 20: React to this term: comfort. 

Monday, September 23: A "life lately" post. What you're up to, how you're feeling, how you're doing on your goals, etc. Bonus points for great photos!

Tuesday, September 24: Review a book, place, or product.

Wednesday, September 25: Write about a time you screwed up - a mistake you made. 

Thursday, September 26: Go to a coffee shop. Order a favorite drink. Write about what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Or write about anything you'd like! Bonus points for including a photo from the coffee shop. (I recommend downloadingOmmwriter and bringing headphones along!) *if you can't make it to a coffee shop, at least leave your usual space and write someplace new.

Friday, September 27: An anonymous letter to your Facebook friends. Be as snarky as you'd like. (but don't include people's real names.) 

Monday, September 30: Share a photo of something old. Maybe something that has personal history for you, that was passed down to you, and that has special meaning to you. Tell us about it and why it's special.

xoxox,

ash

where to go?

Here's some places that I really want to go soon!

Germany! I have no idea what this bridge and cathedral are or if they're actually next to each other, but it looked cool when I was looking up pictures. I have been literally dreaming of going to Germany! Not sure why!

Shenzhen, China! I still want to go here to teach ESL and I will soon! It looks beautiful there :)

New York! Pretty sure I'm finally gonna check NY for Christmas off my life list this year!

South America! Didn't pick a specific place of country because there are so many places that I would love to go!

I really hope I can travel more in the near future!

xoxox,

ash

a book and a song.

I started reading this book today and I think it is so good so far! It's about a woman who is reflecting about her younger years now that she's experienced life more. I believe both genders can and *should* read it, just flip all the pronouns that need to be. hahaha ;) So far, she has some good points on love and on the strength of same-gender friendships. I've been underlining some things, if you borrow my copy. I love books. They make me really happy.



Also, I actually paid attention when Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors" was on today in the car. It's cute!! Whenever I hear his solo stuff, I'm like, ah man! you should still be doing the "Bye Bye Bye" single clap (like you're making the talking gesture with your four fingers and thumb) dance with your NSYNC bros! buuuttt--this song may be initiating my conversion to liking JT as a soloist.

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

I looked it up, and yep, this song is about Jessica Biel. Rightfully so :)

xoxox,

ash

PS. so wish I was in China right now. 

an analogy.

I've been thinking a lot about families recently. This summer, I've been back in my parents' house to save a little money since I was in Michigan/California for a month. Saving money and the time before I left for Michigan was great. Then I went to Michigan--I had a lot of time to contemplate where I want my life to go. I tossed around the idea of an LDS mission, and I think that's a no-go, but I will make my decision by early September. I don't want to go for the wrong reasons (wanting to learn a language for me, seriously!). I only have a little bit of school left, but I dread going back in the fall. I just don't want to. Every day in the spring, I would trudge up to the U, hating life, hating school and partially hating myself. That's not like me! I usually love life, like school and love myself too. So I started contemplating taking a semester off and I still haven't decided, but it seems like a good option--take a breather, get a second job, save up some money cause heaven knows I'm gonna need it because of cost of car repairs after my accident last week and also go to New York this Christmas, (that's on my life-list! 2013 seems to be the year to finally start checking some of those things off!) and go back to school in the spring. I don't know, just a thought. One thing being in MI truely did teach me though, was "Live in the present, try not to be so future-focused." Sure, I know I need a plan and I'm working to put one together, but I also need to focus on the now. the plan of now. I believe that was causing some of my unhappiness, and I was ready to take this new-found, refreshed idea back with me, knowing it would work wonders.

Then I came back. My family left the day after I got back for vacation in California. It was a fun trip. Toward the end though, something in me snapped. Beyond, "ok, this is too much family togetherness, I just need a break", to the point of me getting teary on my way to the airport (they weren't with me; had to come back early to help my cousin with wedding stuff) about how I was going to fix my feelings when I got home. It was the weirdest thing. The live in the now feelings I had felt a strong conviction for in MI were gone and I am floundering, trying to gain them back.

Well, I haven't told my parents about my thoughts in Michigan of what I'm going to do over the next little bit. I'm afraid they'll be disappointed. but, I'm wondering if my indecisiveness is having an impact on their treatment of me. They already are disappointed, but sometimes I have to forge my own way and figure out things for me because they don't live my life, or my disappointment in myself. They'll get over it, I know, but it is somewhat miserable in the meantime. so, this leads me to an analogy that I want to share:

Last weekend, I went to visit my dear grandparents and we went to a rodeo! If you know my Grandpa P at all, you know he loves horses and the other components of rodeo, so I was excited to go with him to one live, it's been a while! the rodeo in it's entirety was great--the part I want to focus on, though, is team roping. I have wondered this before, but this day, I asked my gami,

"Do you think if the first roper gets his job done and for whatever reason, the second roper can't or doesn't successfully complete his portion, the first roper gets mad at him?" 

Her reply was simple, but hit me like a ton of bricks.

"No," she said, "because the second roper is mad enough at himself for the both of them."

Whoa. Talk about profound. This was exactly what I was supposed to discover in the difficulties with my family over the last few weeks. Yes, they are upset at me, but even more, I am upset with myself, in the figuring-it-out process. That is why it has been so tough. Maybe even that's part of the reason why I've been thinking about the family I want in the future so much recently. I wanna be loved, not criticized so much. I need a very best friend in husband form (friends are wonderful, but totally not the same) who builds and who I can confide in. that is what I want the most. A confidant who I can tell anything to--hopes, dreams, fears, stresses. I place enough stress on myself as it is. I don't need more; I need a release, and that for me is talking. I'm the second team roper who hasn't been able to successfully tie the calf of school and life in a cool, neat knot. and the first team ropers aren't seeing the pressure and stress I take on myself, they just get mad instead of understanding that I messed up and I'll try harder and better the next time.

I hope I can convince them of this. until then, I'll keep improving myself, making myself better for what is to come. it is all about the process.

xoxox,

ash

on being happy.

I've been thinking over the past few days, that there's so much to life and sometimes it's hard to un-twist all the knots that can form (good and bad knots, mind you) around me.

But I've come to realize that it's more simple than I make it out to be.

I just want to be happy.
In the present.
Now.
I am happy.

The type of happy that makes you sigh with contentment as you're walking down the street, the happy that helps you to not worry and stress over what is to come. The happy that helps you to remember that decisions (mine? mission and schooling) will be made when it is the right time.

It's good that that happy shines through all the muddy decisions made at this time of life.

and I will continue on the quest to find happy(and conquer, for current happinesses)

I'm a big proponent of timing. I believe that everything happens for a reason and in the right time.

This past week, I saw a documentary at the LSA Institute that I'm here in Ann Arbor for--
It was raising issues of language that were fascinating, but I won't get into those here. The crazy part that stuck out to me was that it was talking about a group of people in Brazil, the Pirahã, and they don't have a way of communicating past or future tense in their language. They don't worry about that. They live completely in the present. I want that, and I have been inspired! 

Here's to living in the now.
Completely and utterly happy. 


xoxox,
ash

a little love story

photo cred: the following blog I'm going to link. I really liked it :) I'll find that soul-stirring guy.

who doesn't love a good love story? A couple of my blog friends have linked it, so it's not crazy. I just figure, hey might as well get some inspiration from someone else's story.

I don't know this couple, the lady is just well-known in the blog community. Enjoy!

Parts can be viewed here: http://www.littlemissmomma.com/category/love and you can pick and choose what you read.

xoxo,

ash

6.13 Throwback Thursday

Hey people! So it's Friday, but I just heard about this blog idea and I want to get back into writing more here and Thursdays are my favorite! Check back each week!

TH  6/13  A memory of learning to drive, your first car or the early driving days.

I think I will talk about all three of these. Pictures are limited.

Memory of learning to drive--

When I was learning to drive, I hated driving on 2nd North in my hometown (just a rundown, Kaysville's main streets are Main and 200 North). 2nd North was two lanes each way (not a big deal but it was then) and extremely wide! when you have to cross lanes of traffic. If I had to go anywhere around there, I would take an alternate route. Anyway, late one night, my dad had to run a movie back to redbox at the McDonald's/Chevron on 2nd North and he wanted me to drive. My biggest fear when I first started driving was lane changes, and this was fairly close to the beginning of my driving experience, but I figured I'd be good, as there wouldn't be many people out at that hour, so off we went! So far so good, we got to the gas station, returned the movie and started to leave. There is a side-street out of the gas station that leads to 2nd North, so I decided to exit there. Well, I somehow didn't see how close I was to the curb and a big rock on the right-hand side of the exit and I hit it. My dad was SO mad at me. I shook for the rest of the way home and cried when I got there cause I didn't want there to be anything wrong with the 4runner (loved it!). Lucky for me, there wasn't. To this day, I still smile when I see that rock :) and I remember that I'm grateful that I can drive on 2nd North with no problem now.
One more vivid memory--being at the Autozone (also near 2nd North) with my dad looking for a part he needed and putting the 4runner in drive instead of reverse and almost hitting the yellow pillars they have in front of the building. So scary, even though I didn't move that much!

My first car--
I loved it! It was a black Honda Accord. I got it for Christmas when I was 17. I have A LOT of memories with that car! When I moved to Price for school, it earned the nickname Squirrel cause I would complain how long it took to get up the canyon (4 cyl, baby!) and my parents were like, "Yep, like squirrels are turning the engine!"

Here is a picture of me the day I got it, 2007. It was on Christmas, so I was still in my pjs, looking fabulous!

It was covered in snow and I didn't even know what kind it was or what color. I was just happy to have my own car! It lasted a long time, and I kept it while I drove a Mazda for a year (it sucked--sold that) and I drove it again until I bought my silver Civic last summer. Honda for life!

Early driving days--

Basically I have a need for speed; luckily it's mellowed out though. Also, combine that with my love of music, and I've got a recipe for disaster! I've only gotten pulled over a few times and one ticket (that I totally deserved!) First time I got pulled over: November 14, 2008. This new musician named Allred came to play at CEU and I really liked his sound so I bought some cds. Naturally, I decided to go on a drive to listen to the new stuff, and seriously, there is no place better than night drives in Price. One of my favorite things. So I left the dorm parking lot, put on the music and just drove. Well, coming back, I wasn't too far away and obviously wasn't watching my speed, when I got pulled over a few blocks away from the student center. To make matters worse, it was a girl cop! I always thought girl cops would be worse than guy cops...more stern. Luckily, I just got a warning!

First (and only) time going over 100 MPH: February 8, 2010. My 20th Birthday. That was a Monday, so I had gone home for the weekend and didn't want to go back to school til early Monday morning because I had office hours that I had to keep for student government. I left Kaysville around 6 to be to Price around 8:00. I was in the zone and jamming to either The Fray or Dashboard (can't remember, but one of those) and I looked down at the speedometer and it was 108-110. I didn't even know my car could *go* that fast! remember how it's a squirrel!? I slowed down really quickly! I laugh about that now, because when I was a little girl, I would tell my mom I wanted to be a race car driver--that's about as close as I'll get in a regular car! I noted the time when I left my parents' house to when I pulled into our parking lot--1:58. Fastest time I've ever made it to Price.

First (and only) time getting a ticket: May 16, 2011. I was going to visit my grandparents. Note how all of my driving issues relate to Price! They've gone down significantly since I am there less ;)
I was listening to The Script and their album was really good! Makes me not want to pay attention to speed, HA. totally got caught in a speed trap. Somewhere near the Emma Park Road turn off, I came around a corner just moving right along and the highway patrol pulled me over and came back with a "citation," which I didn't know was a ticket until I saw the dollar amount and had to ask if it was a ticket! I thought a citation was just a 'written' warning. I deserved that ticket though, no doubt.

xoxox,

ash

Decision

Decision day is September 8th, 2013

by 5pm

When I will decide whether or not to serve a mission for the LDS church. 

I need deadlines and when I pick days that I think sound awesome for certain events, it's hard to get me to change. Like I thought about moving it up a month to August 8th, that's my half birthday! but nope, September 8th just feels good. 

I'm prepping this summer as if I am going, the prep doesn't hurt either way :) I hope it will all go well! I have ample time and won't feel pressured.

Wish me luck!

xoxox,

ash

thinking about...

"The call to missionary service rarely comes when it is convenient or easy to serve." --Gardner H. Russell


I've been thinking about serving a mission. I'm not deciding until the end of summer since it's planned and booked. While I know that only I can make my decision, I would love your advice, blog readers! How did you decide you wanted to go? Do you ever regret serving a mission? What were some of the best and worst things about the mission? Feel free to share any pieces of advice you'd like :)


xoxox,

ash

updated

Go here to catch up with my bucket list additions! I'm excited for summer and stoked to go to Michigan for a few weeks. Summer is my favorite time of the year!

xoxo,

ash

gets better every time

Sunscreen

This was a graduation speech that was turned into a song that they played on the radio in the summers of 99-2000. My mom and I loved that 'song' every time it came on. I liked this speech so much that I turned it into my oratorical declamation speech my jr year of debate. I love listening to it, because I get more out of it as time goes on. :)

xoxox,

ash

can't wait!

4.5.2013 11:30am :)

In spring 2009, as I was on a temple trip with my college stake, a friend and I sat with some others jammed on a tiny bench in the Manti temple lobby. It was there that I decided that I wanted to go through that temple when I got to receive my endowment in the future (and get married in the Bountiful temple). Well, in about two weeks, I will be doing just that! I'm so ready for this. 

xoxox,

ash

the head and the heart.

How do you know what situations in which to follow your head OR your heart? I am almost always a heart-follower. I know that what my heart is telling me will probably keep me happier in the long run. That is probably part of my analytical nature (with my personal life), because if I were a head-follower, I'd probably be more logical.

I have a situation right now that I would love to follow my heart with, because I think it can give me what I want the most, but things aren't going that way at all. I think I'm going to have to go with my head on this one. It's hard. I'm a little (or a lot) sad. but maybe, just maybe, it has to be done this way. Because if it were meant to happen the other way, it would have already done so. :/ right?? so rough.

I hope things look up over spring break this coming week.

xo,

ash

two important people.

Guys...
I just love my grandparents. They are seriously the coolest. Last night, I popped in their vid we made them for their 50th anniversary back in August of 2012. (Still working on trying to upload and link it here, cause I know I have some readers that are very dear friends of the family and I think would like to see it.) I cried. It takes a lot for me to cry like that. I have been thinking about them a lot lately. They're getting older. Which is not terrible, it's really not. A lot of my friends who are near the youngest in their families don't even have grandparents around still. So I know it's a blessing, but I can't help but be selfish and want them around for major milestones in my life. Graduation with a Bachelor's Degree. Dare I say even graduation from graduate school. Dragging my future husband to little old Price, because he'll know how important they are to me and that I want them to meet him and vice versa and see how proud of the choice I am making to marry him. My wedding. OH my goodness, you have no idea how important it is that they are both at my wedding--getting a picture like the one I have from my aunt's wedding where they and me are dancing; I'll just be a little older and taller this time :) Them seeing me possibly move for career and educational opportunities. Seeing my kids as they grow up. The possibilities are endless.

It's no secret that my grandfather and I share an extremely special bond. I can't even put it into words. The one who, for two years while at CEU, told me to focus on my education and don't let other things get in the way. The one who always calls me beautiful and nicknames me doll or baby doll and tells me how pretty my hair is. The one who always makes sure I am safe, that I can cover rent, car expenses, etc. The one who tells me to, "Be careful up to Salt Lake because all the men there are bastards." The one who always would take me to McDonald's (when my gam was working) on main street in July, when I would stay weeks on end every summer in Price, and we would eat big breakfasts and chat :) The one from which I gained my love of long, (almost-) solitary drives to just think about and ponder life. The one who always would take me to walmart and color fuzzy posters with me and teach me the all-important negotiation mantra, "He who speaks first, loses." The one who always brings me delicious feta and pepperoni from R&A and Workman's every time he comes up to visit.  The one who has coined one of my favorite pieces of advice, "Some days are better than others, but they are all good days. Don't you forget that, baby doll." The one who, during long drives up the canyon, would play the word game (do you say mail or male, etc., etc) and make comments on how "that's how young women these days talk," noting his differences in speech from mine--the linguist in me finds this to be so fantastic! Maybe he should have been a linguist too! One who has taught me to be close to the gospel in all that I do--he always reminds me to say my prayers, would always ask me what I learned in church when I spent Sunday nights with them, etc., etc. He's not active in the church, but I know deep down that he knows it's true. The one who raised (with my Gami of course!) my mother, and without her strong example, I wouldn't be the same. This chain reaction has helped me to know how I want to teach my kids :) I am grateful for all that my grandparents have taught me; all things and experiences, great and small. This might be mushy, but I just had to take a second and jot down my feelings for them. I hope they know how much I love them, and that I always will.

xoxo,
ash

normal.

Watch this

"Normal is safe. Familiar. Warm and comfortable. Normal is the thing you know. It is what is. But normal isn't great. It isn't fantastic. Normal can never be amazing."

I love this ad. I know it's good to think about the 'normal' in my life. I don't want to be normal :) I will be extraordinary. I want to feel like the person floating on the end of the huge clump of balloons. Or just be crazy! Like the dude surfing on the high-side of the mini cooper. or like the man in a horse mask that pulled up next to me at a stoplight tonight. Yep, that really happened.

Basically, I'm really happy with how things are going. I wore a huge smile all day today for a couple of reasons. I got to work at the elementary school and we talked about dreams/goals/future occupations with the 1st/2nd graders and they said what they wanted to be. I told them that I think i want to be a teacher. A little girl said, "But Miss Ashlie, you are already a teacher." It made my day. I love be surrounded by the kids and teaching them things :) then I went to work, which is always a great time. I was thinking about it today--the seniors will be graduating in just a few short months. It's wild to me how attached I've gotten to them since I've started working there. so fun. 

Ah, it's all so mind-boggling to me. I remember (very vividly) a conversation I had with my dad. We were driving up to Weber State for a student gov thing in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college. I was 19. It was one of many what-are-you-gonna-do-with-your-life-talks. We'd hit that area where it gets super windy, and there's all the 1-84 and S. Weber on and off-ramps, by the hotel and the deck/playground/fence place. (I don't suppose that detail's important, but that's ok.) He was telling some things that he thought I'd be good at. Lawyer, teacher and some other choices. I was unsure about law school, and I did not want to be a teacher. I pretty much yelled at him, "I DO NOT want to be a teacher!!" and that was really the end of the conversation because those talks were so upsetting to me. I'm glad they're behind me :) It seems that a lot of things I originally think I don't want, are what I gravitate toward later in life. Now I can't not take reverse psychology crap that people pull with me seriously! Anyway, I've stopped *really* planning life, which is a total flip-flop of how I used to be. I'm excited to see where life takes me!

xoxox,

ash

summer plans

 LSA 2013 in Ann Arbor this summer is a go for this girl! So stoked! 

I loved it when I went to Boulder in 2011, so I'm even more stoked now; now that I've more fully realized my interests in Ling. I love doing education and I'm excited to be a teacher, but I think I'll always love linguistics and language the most. 

Plus, I've never been to Michigan. Always down to go to states I've never been. I really want to travel in America more. Should be fun :) So, LSA 2011/U Ling friends, who's headed to Ann Arbor?? 

Walt Wolfram AND Noam Chomsky are giving presentations. Wooo. That is awesome!

xoxox,
ash

valentines day/education.

Valentines was super fun this year! Thursdays are my practicum days with Ms. Brown and it was great that a holiday fell on this day. It was fun to be in the classroom, and I wish I had pictures, but I haven't quite figured out if taking pictures of the kids is creeper status or not.

This was quite different from any elementary holiday day than I know, from my own school experience or those of my siblings. I noticed that there wasn't a room mother throwing a party, which is all I know, and it wasn't until I went to visit my family and talked to my mom about this observation that I started to think. The school I work in is title one, serving a diverse economic population. Where I went to elementary school, there was never a shortage of volunteers, supplies, etc. I doubt that my teachers ever had to worry about paying a lot out-of-pocket for extras around the classroom. We had class lists of supplies that they asked parents to contribute, and parties or extra things are funded by volunteers. I have yet to ask Ms. Brown about the logistics of this, but I'm guessing that that type of thing doesn't happen at Washington.

I know there is a lot of money funneled into title one schools, for extra programs to help kids with reading, etc., which I think does help, but I think there's something to be said about parental involvement. It's sad to me that some parents don't have time to care (working multiple jobs, etc.), or just don't care at all by their own choosing. For the reading intervention part of my TESOL practicum with Mrs. Hlady, there's more evidence of this. It's heart-breaking to work with a kid who struggles with reading and is getting NO help at home. There's only so much time that can spent with them in a day! I know I'm not a teacher yet, but the little time I've spent in classrooms have made me desperate to be able to fit in as much time and as many exercises as possible. It makes me...stress! because I'm becoming attached(! that didn't take long at all--wonder what I'll be like with my own kids) and want what's best for them, and I also wish there was some way I could make time for their parents to spend time working on subjects where they are struggling. For me and peers who grew up with similar backgrounds, we learned to read at home and the classroom work was more supplemental. The situation I'm dealing with now couldn't be more opposite. I can't imagine how teachers who see this year in and year out feel! I think it'd be a little crazy, unless you learn to desensitize from it a tiny bit. 

Then there is the interesting discussion of how property taxes are distributed across the school district.We've talked about this a little bit in my education class and people have some very interesting viewpoints. It's hard to solidify an opinion because there is so much information to take in. Sometimes I think, yes, I do want my money that I pay from living in a certain area to go to their schools. Other times, I think that it would be better if things were more evenly spread. When my family lived in Layton, our school boundaries changed (just as we were moving over to Kaysville) and we were assigned to a school that most people thought was inferior(?) because a portion of the population was very low-income and that the mixing wouldn't be as good as the current elementary that students were attending. It's a completely different school district, but there is also the example of East and West High. A lot of my friends who were in East boundaries went to West because of the academic opportunities that are there! There are great things offered there, I see it every day with my job. Granted, I've never looked into things that East does or does not have, but a lot of material I've read on West says that it is very well known for its programs and people want their kids to go there. So this example isn't really based on location/surrounding demographics. I'm trying to wrap my head around all of this. It's a lot to think about, but I like hearing what people have to say. Thoughts??

xoxox,
ash

PS. I think this is up next on my to-read list:


Has anyone read it? We should start a bookclub!

a realization.

 

I agree with this, 100%. I've learned a lot about true friends in the past little while.

I finally realized that I don't need anyone who doesn't need me.

because I know my true friends do need me. and they help maintain a friendship, not a convenience-ship. 

Same with boys. Even though it sucks right now to like guys who have no interest, and having ni interest in guys that like me, I'm done chasing. 

With either friends or boys, if they want to stay in my life, they will make an effort. I've always been one who worries about quality of friendships and fixing things that aren't just-so. This first aspect hasn't changed a bit. Still the same aspect of not needing a ton of friends, just a select few that I can trust and open up to, which is fantastic, considering I'm a closed book unless you know me well. 

This new-found knowledge has served me well so far this week :)

xoxox,

ash

hobbies.

 I need more hobbies. I want to amp up my life, so today, I've been thinking about hobbies that I can incorporate into my life to give it some pizazz! Here is the list that I've come up with and how I am going to facilitate such happenings:

Learn the guitar: find a friend who knows how and learn from them or take a community education class. I tried to teach myself when I was 17. That didn't work so well, but I need to give it another go :)

Learn to knit: I see all these great books on knitting when I browse bookstores. I'm picking one up (or maybe for my birthday ;)

Learn to crochet: same as knitting--although I at least know how to do a couple basic stitches and have everything I need as far as hooks and yarn go.

Become a better baker: When I was in high school, I loved to bake and everything I baked was good/turned out. I've lost my touch! So my plan is to back two new things each month, and when I find something noteworthy, perfect it! Also, I want to find a go-to. For times when I need to take something to a gathering, etc., that's NOT thaw and drop cookie dough. Blech.

Become a cook: this is probably the biggest one on this list! Each week I will pick some new recipes that actually take effort. Started this last week and made Indian curry. It was good :)

Jewelry making

Swimming

Running: this along with Zumba make my life great these days! Love the endorphins. Exercise makes me feel alive.

Ballroom dance...!: I really want to learn how to partner dance, even my coordination isn't that great! haha

Get back into playing my violin


yay for learning new things.

xoxo,

ash

fresh start.

Since I chose to put off graduation to increase my gpa for grad school acceptance, I have been thinking about doing a second major in education. So I decided to take EDU 1010 and I guess I'll see :) I am taking that, and a Literacy, Learning and Development class. I feel like I need more than one class to see if I'm interested in it, and that one goes along with what I want to do for grad school with the literacy component!

My sched this semester:

EDU 1010 with an 18 hr fieldwork practicum.
ED PSY 3110--the literacy class!
LING 3600--Cross Cultural Comm. Not thrilled about this one, but just gotta do it. The teacher is super nice so that's good!
and my practicum for TESOL certification. That is going to be fun. Well, the class, idk. It's online. I hate online classes haha. BUT--I did get into the school that I wanted and I thought it would be so hard cause there are only two spots but the teacher was really excited when she got back to me. I will be working at Washington Elementary with their Early Language Development students and with reading intervention. I am thrilled!!!

So between that practicum in the elementary school and working at the high school, I'm going to be busy. Yay! All I'll need is time in a jr. high this semester! Maybe I can do my edu 1010 practicum at a jh. haha. No, I actually think I'd like to do it at the high school. I love the kids that I work with and it'd be nice to not have to travel very far. I lucked out. My work (the hs) and my TESOL practicum school are three minutes apart!

I really want to go to the University of Michigan for graduate school and get into their Literacy, Language and Culture program in the school of education. That would be so great. Whenever I visit their site and read about it, I get so excited!!

Back to the education thing--it would take awhile, but I feel like I need a back-up plan. I love ling so so much, but I honestly can't see myself being abroad my whole life. I will be so happy to do it for a few years, but eventually I will want to come back to the states. Teaching would be good. I enjoy it and I could make it work with a family life. and it ties in with what I want for my grad degree! ling+edu+literacy=a happy me.

oh my goodness. so many thoughts right now about school! So you'll be hearing about it a lot this semester. I'm excited!


xoxox,
ash

end of the year post.

I've changed a lot this year and I am so glad!
I feel like I've grown into a person that I want to be, rather than who everyone else wants me to be and for that I am grateful. I've realized that it doesn't matter what others want for me. They don't have to live my life, I do :) so, on I go.

A big change that has happened this year is that I will be going to China after graduation! Which I've talked about before. It's awesome, even though I never planned on teaching or going abroad for work. Another change is that graduation/China won't be happening when I thought, which has been HARD to grasp. I was so ready to go. ;( I am so bummed. I'll get there, just not right now. I wonder why some things turn out the way they do, it sucks.

Main goal for 2013:

Be kinder to everyone.
It's simple and needed. I need to judge a lot less, and accept a lot more.

That's really it. I do have other things I want to work on, but this is the frontrunner. It must be done.

Happy new year,
xoxox,

ash