get tired of this song.
It would be a good one to dance to.
and while I'm at it, I'm still celebrating Christmas since it seems like it flew by in the blink of an eye. Seriously, the older I get, the faster/quicker? time goes by. (that sentence seems a little weird to me, but I don't care) Go here for a sweet Christmas song.
I can't believe it's almost a new year. Cheers to a fresh beginning.
xoxo
ash
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
marriage.
I mentioned in an earlier post how my family functions have led family members to ask me about a boyfriend/husband. On one occasion, an uncle of mine asked me if I found a man, asked me how old I was, told me I was a geezer and that I need to get married. I know he was joking to an extent, but his words to me before they left were, "Find a husband!" I told him I want to finish school first and I still have awhile to go.
On another occasion, another uncle, (who, by the way, usually has NOTHING to say about my relationship status, so I found this odd) brought up the boyfriend topic in random conversation. He too asked me if I had found a man, and when I was going to get married. At this point, I started to think more about this and the timing. I will be 22 in a little over a month and I am young still. I want to finish school and work in my career awhile before settling down. I want to travel. I'm having fun being single. I like to date many guys. I could go on and on. Sometimes, I don't understand the way this culture views marriage and it frustrates me. The church tells us that marriage is important and I agree. I believe that deciding who to marry is the most important decision you will make. That person will be with you forever and who you will experience joys, sorrows and triumphs with, who you will raise your kids with, and so on. That is huge. I cannot stress it enough. When and where you marry are also important factors.
What I struggle to understand is why do people here feel that we need to get married so quickly? I don't get that at all and it bugs me. What is the problem with wanting to experience different things before getting married, things that will only bring knowledge and benefits to a marriage relationship? When talking to people who are older than I am, and they bring up the, "Are you dating anyone" thing, and I tell them no, that I am just having fun, and then some give me sympathetic looks and say, "Oh, it must not be your time yet, "or "Oh, you just have to wait for the right person to come along," I agree to a certain point. There's a lot to do with timing, but that's not the only factor here. Marriage is a very personal decision and I realize that. I have many friends who are getting married and having kids, and if that works for you, wonderful! I don't know, however, if that doesn't work for you, why people have to give you a bad time about it or make stated or implied comments. All of us single folk know what you're getting at when you say stuff like that. I don't need the sympathy and I don't want it. I do not feel the need to 'wait' for someone to come along. That sort of comment makes me feel that marriage is the only thing I have to look forward too, but it's not. I do look forward to marriage, but it is not the only thing that I have going for me. I love the way waiting is talked about here. I wish that people would actually take what he said into consideration. Being happy now is what's important and that's where I'm at, and I'm glad I'm there right now. I can think of nothing better than to be doing what I'm doing, developing skills, talents, gaining a very good education, all of which are going to benefit me when I get married.
Education/career and how it fits into marriage is another thing that I wrestle with, even though I know that I will finish my degree and go on to get an advanced degree and work. Church leaders teach that we should gain and place value on education, but where does that come into play in the real world? Why do so many women not finish school after getting married? Even though a lot of women choose to be home with their kids, education is still a viable tool to have. What about dependency?--what if your husband suddenly couldn't work due to job loss/illness/etc.? What would you do to support your family? Going back to my own background/experience, my dad has had lay-offs and such in his career life, that, if it hadn't been for my mom's education/skill/ability to have a good paying job, we wouldn't have made it financially. The dependency issue is a big thing for me and that's personal, I know. I also don't think that I want to be a full-time stay at mom, which I think is fine, but others don't. Sometimes I feel that women who have the desire to be out in the workplace are looked down upon, and I don't think that's the way it should be at all. My mom was single until I was seven, when she met and married my dad. She worked as a nurse from when I was a teeny baby and after my brother was born, she went back to school and got her MBA. She continued working until my sister was born in 2004 and she stayed home from then (I was 14) until probably my first year away at college in 2008. I feel that this has been a fine arrangement for my family. I don't feel that my life has suffered any by not having a mom who stayed home with me when I was younger. I don't feel like that was bad for her or for me.
Back to the marriage thing--I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words about it, but writing helps me to think it out :) Basically, I don't why others have to worry about my choices. I'm not worried about it. why should you? It's my decision to make, when I get married. It may make me feel like an unwanted freak because I'm not seriously dating someone at the moment sometimes, but I know it's for the best for me in the long run. I visited with my grandparents on my dad's side the other day and my granddad snagged my phone and asked Siri when I am going to get married. It made me laugh to myself; I added it to my list of marriage bring-ups this year. He told me that he was just teasing, which I knew, and he added that he doesn't think that anyone should spend life alone, but that people shouldn't rush into anything either and he was glad that I am just having fun in school/etc. It was refreshing to hear that from a different perspective, especially because I really have never heard him mention stuff like that before. It made me feel good :)
xoxo
ash
On another occasion, another uncle, (who, by the way, usually has NOTHING to say about my relationship status, so I found this odd) brought up the boyfriend topic in random conversation. He too asked me if I had found a man, and when I was going to get married. At this point, I started to think more about this and the timing. I will be 22 in a little over a month and I am young still. I want to finish school and work in my career awhile before settling down. I want to travel. I'm having fun being single. I like to date many guys. I could go on and on. Sometimes, I don't understand the way this culture views marriage and it frustrates me. The church tells us that marriage is important and I agree. I believe that deciding who to marry is the most important decision you will make. That person will be with you forever and who you will experience joys, sorrows and triumphs with, who you will raise your kids with, and so on. That is huge. I cannot stress it enough. When and where you marry are also important factors.
What I struggle to understand is why do people here feel that we need to get married so quickly? I don't get that at all and it bugs me. What is the problem with wanting to experience different things before getting married, things that will only bring knowledge and benefits to a marriage relationship? When talking to people who are older than I am, and they bring up the, "Are you dating anyone" thing, and I tell them no, that I am just having fun, and then some give me sympathetic looks and say, "Oh, it must not be your time yet, "or "Oh, you just have to wait for the right person to come along," I agree to a certain point. There's a lot to do with timing, but that's not the only factor here. Marriage is a very personal decision and I realize that. I have many friends who are getting married and having kids, and if that works for you, wonderful! I don't know, however, if that doesn't work for you, why people have to give you a bad time about it or make stated or implied comments. All of us single folk know what you're getting at when you say stuff like that. I don't need the sympathy and I don't want it. I do not feel the need to 'wait' for someone to come along. That sort of comment makes me feel that marriage is the only thing I have to look forward too, but it's not. I do look forward to marriage, but it is not the only thing that I have going for me. I love the way waiting is talked about here. I wish that people would actually take what he said into consideration. Being happy now is what's important and that's where I'm at, and I'm glad I'm there right now. I can think of nothing better than to be doing what I'm doing, developing skills, talents, gaining a very good education, all of which are going to benefit me when I get married.
Education/career and how it fits into marriage is another thing that I wrestle with, even though I know that I will finish my degree and go on to get an advanced degree and work. Church leaders teach that we should gain and place value on education, but where does that come into play in the real world? Why do so many women not finish school after getting married? Even though a lot of women choose to be home with their kids, education is still a viable tool to have. What about dependency?--what if your husband suddenly couldn't work due to job loss/illness/etc.? What would you do to support your family? Going back to my own background/experience, my dad has had lay-offs and such in his career life, that, if it hadn't been for my mom's education/skill/ability to have a good paying job, we wouldn't have made it financially. The dependency issue is a big thing for me and that's personal, I know. I also don't think that I want to be a full-time stay at mom, which I think is fine, but others don't. Sometimes I feel that women who have the desire to be out in the workplace are looked down upon, and I don't think that's the way it should be at all. My mom was single until I was seven, when she met and married my dad. She worked as a nurse from when I was a teeny baby and after my brother was born, she went back to school and got her MBA. She continued working until my sister was born in 2004 and she stayed home from then (I was 14) until probably my first year away at college in 2008. I feel that this has been a fine arrangement for my family. I don't feel that my life has suffered any by not having a mom who stayed home with me when I was younger. I don't feel like that was bad for her or for me.
Back to the marriage thing--I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words about it, but writing helps me to think it out :) Basically, I don't why others have to worry about my choices. I'm not worried about it. why should you? It's my decision to make, when I get married. It may make me feel like an unwanted freak because I'm not seriously dating someone at the moment sometimes, but I know it's for the best for me in the long run. I visited with my grandparents on my dad's side the other day and my granddad snagged my phone and asked Siri when I am going to get married. It made me laugh to myself; I added it to my list of marriage bring-ups this year. He told me that he was just teasing, which I knew, and he added that he doesn't think that anyone should spend life alone, but that people shouldn't rush into anything either and he was glad that I am just having fun in school/etc. It was refreshing to hear that from a different perspective, especially because I really have never heard him mention stuff like that before. It made me feel good :)
xoxo
ash
Monday, December 26, 2011
excitement.
I have more of a social life because school's out and I like that; I will say that I wish I was working right now. I do miss that. I am looking forward to laser tag/bowling/arcade (I love arcade games :) ) with some people tomorrow night. Wednesday, I get to see a friend that I haven't seen since around March...it's been way too long! I have so much to catch up with her on. I think we're going to hang out downtown and do a bunch of stuff. It should be fun. Plus, she's a cell phone guru and when I told her I got a smartphone for Christmas, she freaked out! She's going to help me find a case for it :) She's one of my old roommates and I miss her a lot. We had a lot of good times and we were really close. We talk/text quite a bit, but it's always fun to get together. I'm way excited for that. Then on Thursday, I'll probably hang out with my other friend when she gets back from St. George. Friday, I think I am going down to Price to visit my grandparents, which I always love. My grandpa will probably take me to see an ice fishing tournament in Scofield. I love Scofield and when I'm older, after my stint away from here and when I am actually in my career and making money, I hope to own a cabin there :) It's funny, when they were up here the other day, I told them we were going to it, and my gami was like, "That'll be like watching the ice melt. Super fun!" We laughed after that comment; I love that she can be sarcastic sometimes. I sure do love my family. If nothing else, it will just be a fun drive with my gramps. He loves going on drives--I think that might be where I get MY love of going on drives from :) If I'm not back for New Years, that's fine, if so--well then, I don't know what I'll do. My friends seem to always want to be with family, so I usually feel lame on that holiday. Every year I tell myself it will be different, but I don't know when it will be haha.
Today I rode one of our new horses and it was kinda trippy! I've only ridden once or twice since my horseback riding accident in 2004. I wasn't scared from that, but I definitely had to get used to the idea, and it was bareback--I haven't ridden that way since a while before my accident! She was super calm and I loved it once I got the feel of it again :) I wanted to ride Red, but my mom said that my dad needed to be here (Red hasn't been ridden for 6 or so years) He'd probably be fine, but his feet are foundering and that's never a good thing, but I have the go-ahead from the vet to ride him. He's getting to be an old man! I felt bad because I could tell that he felt left out when we were riding the other horses. Hopefully I get to ride him soon!
ps. I need to say this--I hate when people post things that get a little too personal on facebook and other sites, like pictures of pregnancy tests--really, people? That's kinda gross. I don't know, maybe it's just weird to me because it's something I would never do. You can share the news, but do it in a different way. Put what you would write as the caption for said photo or something like that. I also hate it when people say (or generally type) "Just saying" after almost everything. It's just a pet peeve, but it drives me crazy!
xoxo
ash
Today I rode one of our new horses and it was kinda trippy! I've only ridden once or twice since my horseback riding accident in 2004. I wasn't scared from that, but I definitely had to get used to the idea, and it was bareback--I haven't ridden that way since a while before my accident! She was super calm and I loved it once I got the feel of it again :) I wanted to ride Red, but my mom said that my dad needed to be here (Red hasn't been ridden for 6 or so years) He'd probably be fine, but his feet are foundering and that's never a good thing, but I have the go-ahead from the vet to ride him. He's getting to be an old man! I felt bad because I could tell that he felt left out when we were riding the other horses. Hopefully I get to ride him soon!
ps. I need to say this--I hate when people post things that get a little too personal on facebook and other sites, like pictures of pregnancy tests--really, people? That's kinda gross. I don't know, maybe it's just weird to me because it's something I would never do. You can share the news, but do it in a different way. Put what you would write as the caption for said photo or something like that. I also hate it when people say (or generally type) "Just saying" after almost everything. It's just a pet peeve, but it drives me crazy!
xoxo
ash
a little Christmas fun.
I had a great Christmas and I hope you all did too.
I'm going from this:
older than the hills phone that I've been using since I lost my Nokia Blackberry-like phone that I loved in California this summer. It can't send or receive picture messages and I have to make sure the battery doesn't fall out because the back slide off piece is gone...to this baby!:
seriously amazing! It's weird having something so high-tech :) I also got a super cute North Face jacket that I've been wanting. and I look pret-ty dang cute in it if I do say so myself! ;) All I need is the beanie with earflaps and I will be set.
My best friend gave me The Four Loves by CS Lewis. I love this book! It's one of my favorites. I basically love when people give me books as gifts since I usually check them out from the library. I am also very excited because we always geek out and tell each other stuff we learn from our classes, etc. She's a family studies major. Now we have something in common we can geek out about, rather than just language and family relationship stuff!
Christmas eve turned out to be so fun, as usual. I slept from 10:30p-2:30a that night and then my brother and I got up and opened our stockings and had to wait til 7:40a to start opening. Way long time. haha. I don't think I'll ever grow up when it comes to getting up early on that day. I love the giddiness and anticipation. Merry Christmas!
xoxo
ash
ps. what is a family function for me these days without being grilled on "Did you find a man?" or "Find a husband!" or "When are you getting married?" Needless to say, the pressure is weird (in that I'm not looking for marriage at all!) --more on that later.
and--if you are in Salt Lake the majority of the time, but Helper this time of year and are viewing my blog, please let me know who you are. I think I have an idea, and I'm glad you read, I just want to be sure. Thanks!
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